If at first you do not succeed...stay in the box!

Perhaps no day defines the heartache and anguish of scholarship applications for me more than one Monday, 25 January 2021. On this day, I received two "We reject..." scholarship response emails, only a few hours in between. For both these scholarships, these were my second consecutive rejections.

The Journey

But I should take you back to the beginning. It was shortly after I had completed my undergraduate degree that the conviction in me to go for a Master's was solidified. It's funny to think back that I was totally dismissive of this idea during the first year of undergrad. It just didn't feel important to go for a Master's at that time. This is another reminder that not everything has to make sense all at the same time. Dreams don't need to be decades old in order to be valid.

Once I had decided that I wanted to do a Master's, I knew it had to be in Digital Communications. That was and remains my passion. I then set out to find scholarships that would propel me to my goal. The Chevening Scholarship, for its aim and entire structure (wholesome development, fully funded, one year, etc), instantly became my first choice. I also shortlisted another, almost similar scholarship.

And so, I submitted my first Chevening application in 2017, just months after graduating. I am almost certain I deserved to fail that one- not much effort was put in it. I hadn't done enough research about what was required of me and hadn't given myself enough time on the application itself. And rightly so, I failed.

In 2018, I got a new job and had to complete a two-year probation for that job before resuming my scholarship application journey. And in 2020, it was time. I applied for both above-mentioned scholarships, spending late nights researching and refining my applications. Things quickly became promising on the first one as I was shortlisted, passed the interview and only had one final hurdle to pass through- just some two tests to write. After some more preparation, I wrote those tests in late 2020 and then waited...

Fast forward to January 2021, Monday the 25th. The first of the emails came in early in the morning. It was for the scholarship for which I had already passed an interview for. While that email stung, I quickly comforted myself with the knowledge that I had another application pending (my first choice, Chevening) and I was confident that I would also be shortlisted for interview for this one. After all, this time I had put in a lot of work on it.

But, it wasn't to be. Right at the peak of my hope and a mere hours from the first one, the second email arrived, informing me that my application would not be progressed to the next round. I was numb for a few hours and as time passed, I came to accept that my Master's dream would not happen in 2021. What a way to begin the year.

A few months later in 2021, I was ready to try again. This time, I decided I would add a third scholarship to my existing two choices, you know, just for a wider options base. As it had happened the previous year, I was shortlisted for an interview for the first scholarship and having passed it last time round, I went there confident I would breeze through.

But instead, disaster. I failed the interview. That same interview I had passed only some 12 months before- I failed it and my journey in that scholarship for the 2021/22 cycle was over. The feedback I received was that I had not been properly expressive during the interview. It stung but I didn't have time to even lick my wounds. I then focused on the other scholarship as well as my third Chevening attempt.

This time, hope...In February earlier this year, I received an email from Chevening that I had been shortlisted for interview. What a golden feeling! But even as I progressed with the Chevening application, I kept my other avenues alive. I applied for the third time to my other scholarship choice and I was shortlisted for an interview- a third consecutive interview for that scholarship.

I remember, one of the questions posed by the interviewing panel during that third interview was on a time I had to deal with failure. I simply used the example of twice coming so close with their scholarship and failing and still finding strength and preparing to come again for the third time. As I told that story, I could see the faces of the panel light up. I knew then, with almost certainty, that I had passed that interview. This is another reminder that we can and we should turn our failures into stories of perseverance, of grit, of determination, of overcoming.

I passed the interview but days later, my Chevening Scholarship was confirmed and I had to respectfully request to pull out from the other one. Before I forget, the third option that I had decided to add on in 2021 was a rejection as well. So, five rejections in five years, one successful one and one that I had to pull out from.

Support structures, they matter

One of the things that sustained me through all the heartache and disappointment of this journey was my wonderful support structure. After that Monday of heartache in January 2021, I called my mother to inform her of the news. She allowed me to calm down and a few days later, she called me to ask what I'd do next. When I told her I'd be trying again, she responded with the well-known SiSwati saying, "Akulahlwa mbeleko ngakufelwa mfan'wami." In simple terms, it means you don't have to give up just because you have experienced disappointment, try again.

Her and the entire family were always there- praying, encouraging me. As my Chevening award was getting confirmed, my family pulled out all stops to ensure everything went smoothly. Sometimes I'd urgently need documents from home- they'd have them scanned and sent to me within a twinkle of an eye.

Another consistent rock of support was my forever boss man, the former Government Spokesperson, uMlangeni Mr. Sabelo Dlamini. He was long aware of my desire to go and study and has written several reference letters for me. He was one of the few people I shared the anguish of Monday, 25 January 2021 with. His response was spectacular. "Everything has it's perfect time Zondi, don't despair and try again next time. It is important to never ever stop the pursuit of self improvement despite the disappointments. Believe me, the right doors eventually open if you never stop pushing...the tenacity to never stop seeking for knowledge and breaking through the boundaries of disappointment and self doubt finally pays - believe it. Dust yourself and try again and again and again." Those were his exact words.

When I hit that other rejection in mid-2021, he might have sensed it would make a serious dent on my confidence. He texted me, "Never ever stop trying and never doubt yourself."

Even when I got shortlisted for the Chevening interview earlier this year, he urged me to forget about earlier setbacks. "All the best. Forget about what happened before and just take it with confidence." Not a man of many words but his words gave me so much confidence.

Perhaps it is because, as he began to learn about my scholarship journey, he also began sharing about his own growth path. I began to learn that this man that I had met as a Deputy Government Spokesperson and had become Government Spokesperson, had walked a similar route and had experienced the same setbacks and heartache I was going through.

This was such a game changer because it kept me grounded and focused on the goal. It reminded me that such setbacks were normal- that if he could overcome them to go on to have the outstanding career he has had, then I could also do it. This is why relatable stories are important. We need more mentors who will share such relatable stories with our generation, mainly to help us understand that these setbacks and failures are only just part of the journey.

Scholarship applications are relentless. They require so much of the mind and more. You pass one hurdle and there are several more ahead. You need people around you who will support you consistently. I found that in my people, the people God aptly placed around me: my family, in my bosses, in the Chevening community, in my friends, in particular Nkosinathi Mavimbela, Sephutile Mhlongo and Gugu Nkambule who reviewed my essays and helped me prepare for the interview.

I remember Sephutile, who, like Nkosinathi, had assisted me in the previous unsuccessful Chevening attempt, saying she wouldn't be able to take anxiety of another scholarship attempt for me as we waited for results of this year's interview. My mother recently confessed that this entire process, from the very beginning, had drained her. That's how relentless and demanding this journey can be.

The Win, finally

But it all became worth it on the afternoon of 6 July 2022 when I received my #ChosenForChevening email. By that time, I had been properly exhausted from waiting. We had been told to await interview results from early June only for mine to arrive in early July! It was a properly agonising wait!

Funnily enough, I was walking to EBIS to meet up with uMlangeni (Mr. Sabelo Dlamini) when I received that email of my dreams. I remember his reaction when I shared the news. He was so excited and immediately began giving me advice, as he always does. My mother cried on the phone and then told me, "Ungamyekeli Jesu, Bongi, noma sengifile."

As we drove into King Mswati III International Airport on Monday, with my family and a few of our people in tow, I couldn't help but reflect on the significance of the entire moment. For the past three years, I have been to fewer places for work than the KMIII Airport; be it for receiving Heads of State, seeing off Heads of Government etc. My routine was always: arrive at KMIII, do comms work and then go back, so much that a part of me had begun to see the Airport as some part of work.

In that time, I hadn't flown out through KMIII at all. In actual fact, my only other flight prior to this latest one was the short journey from KMIII to Johannesburg, once, in early 2018. Yesterday, it was my turn to be seen off and for a while, it was difficult to get to terms with. I wouldn't be turning back this time.

But this is real. And I am doing my Master's and posting this blog straight from Manchester, that city that has captured my imagination for my entire life, for reasons you probably know.

This is why today I want to encourage you, whatever you wish to do, just stay in the box. Stay in that box. Stay in the box is a phrase borrowed from football. The box is that area near the goalposts. It signifies the area of immense opportunities, where the likelihood of scoring is at its highest. In football, the team that wants to score will try to keep the ball in and around that area as much as possible, because that is the area of golden opportunities and goals. That is what we also need to do as we chase our goals.

And it's true, when you stay in the box, you run the risk of getting counter-attacked. You run the risk of experiencing the heartache of near misses, sometimes repeated; it's a high risk, high reward environment. But it's worth it. Don't give up. Go and go again.

Is it a scholarship you want? A job? A promotion? Stay in that box!

By: Sibongiseni Zondi

NB: Sibongiseni Zondi writes this blog in his personal capacity. The views expressed here do not represent the views of the Chevening Scholarship Secretariat, Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office (FCDO) and Chevening partners.

Zondi is a 2022/22 Chevening Scholarship recipient pursuing a Master's Degree in Public Relations and Digital Communications at the University of Salford, in Manchester, United Kingdom.

Chevening is the UK Government’s international scholarships and fellowships programme. Chevening Scholarships are awarded by the UK Government to develop international leaders.